


like one loves the sun

by andyonyx



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: F/F, a lesbian wrote this, im yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyonyx/pseuds/andyonyx
Summary: vespa reflects on how she loves and how she is loved.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	like one loves the sun

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi this is my first time posting a fic!! please be gentle but also criticism good.

It is dark. The only light comes from the corridor door, seeping in like the antithesis of shadow. And yet, I can perfectly see the shape of the woman besides me, sleeping soundly like she always does. She is so efficient. I have been awake for several hours, and my eyes, accustomed to the darkness, focus on the love of my life instead of paying any mind to any fiction that my brain produces.

Her hair falls around her face, just besides my fingertips. I could play with it, I could wake her up and tell her how much I love her, I could kiss her senseless in these early hours of the morning. I don’t.

When I knew Buddy Aurinko she was unapologetic, loud and confident. She had dark, short hair and a smile like the sea. She wore stolen silks and feathers, and her laugh was a love song. She was like a gas, filling up every space she was in, intoxicatingly beautiful.

The Buddy Aurinko I know now is just as brilliant as she was in her prime. Just as beautiful, too, in the radical way we old women are beautiful. But her hair is long now, up to her elbows. She uses it to cover her face and neck, trying to hide her gray, decaying skin. When I’m having a good day, those scars remind me that she loves me with an intensity that flusters me. And well, when I’m having a bad day, it reminds me how I forgot her and didn’t come home until she gently pulled my leash.

Because Buddy Aurinko holds my heart in her hand and can call me to her at any moment. Buddy Aurinko is the most powerful woman in the galaxy, with her sharp brown eye and her graceful lips. I love her like one loves the sun, and I love her like one loves a wife.

And she loves me too. I know this. This is the only thing I have been certain of in my life. However, I am a woman of doubt. And when Buddy pulls away, when Buddy’s smile weakens, when she reprimands me in front of the others, that’s when I start doubting my certainty.

But she is next to me, so she will not leave me tonight. That is something to relish, because a night with Buddy is a night of divine status. And she feels so safe. Buddy Aurinko is a home herself and I think maybe, if I show her every day how much I love her with no fear, I can be her home as well. I would like that. So I finally move my fingers, and tangle my shaking hands in her red curls.

Then I hear a camera lens open, and Buddy smiles at me, still half asleep. She has this glow in the dark that pulls me to her, and she holds me in her arms. She falls asleep soon after, but certainty has returned. Buddy Aurinko loves me like one loves the moon, and like one loves a wife.


End file.
